Yesterday in class, we talked passionately, both in our seminars and as a class, about what should and shouldn't be taught in school and at what age, particularly around issues of tolerance for diversity, including religious, ethnic, physical, and sexual diversity. Furthermore, we asked, "who decides?" what gets taught and to/by whom. The role of parents, communities, teachers, and the government all come into play, complicating the matter. While our discussion focused largely on the challenges of teaching family values within a Christian context and tolerance or acceptance of alternative lifestyles simultaneously, it also raised some important questions about a separation of church and state. Is there too much religious presence in our legislative bodies? How do others feel about this?
For a moment, I want to share my own experience of family. My partner and I have two dogs, which are our kids, and we love to camp in Big Sur whenever we have a chance. We have been together for nine years (this month) and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. I simply cannot imagine being without her. For all intents and purposes, we consider ourselves married in the profoundest sense, yet we are not legally recognized as such. She has her own business as a contractor, and I am a full-time student, aspiring to be a college professor.
In all honesty, I have never been a political activist in the typical sense, but I have been political in the sense that I am openly gay and have been fortunate enough to be comfortable with my sexuality. I suppose I am political in the sense that I talk honestly about my relationship and hope that by being myself I offer people a different perspective or perception of homosexuality that maybe they wouldn't have otherwise had. We are all unique! Everyone! Gay, straight, whatever. Families, too, come in all shapes and sizes. Even though there are still many people who disagree, for various reasons, with an "alternative" lifestyle, it is at least good that we are all talking about it. This itself is progress.
5 comments:
Happy Anniversary! It is a wonderful thing to be a part of a happy and supportive relationship. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. Being with someone for such a long time doesn't make it easier, as arguments and disagreements will always happen. What is wonderful about long-term, committed relationships is the comfort that comes from the knowledge that the other person will be there despite the rough patches. Every family has its strengths and weaknesses, the ebb and flow of love and independence. I only wish that people would spend more time focusing on improving their own relationships and less time telling everyone else how they ought (or ought not) to be living. Enjoy your celebration!
Now that is a post I can get into here. :) Yes, I have one of those contested families too and I was also struck by this in class. Thanks for putting it out there for us to consider. I wonder a lot if I had seen or heard about gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people when I was younger if my own coming out would have been a smoother one. All I know is that whenever I read about those curriculum debates, I think to myself, "Wait, they are talking about me! My history! My literature!" and its hard not to take it all so personally.
You inspire me! Thank you for sharing your life like an open book. I respect the fact that you live your life to the fullest. I believe there is immense value to be found in all unique families. Your own family is beautiful. You are also brave for entering the realm of education. I wish you all the luck in the world. :)
I agree that all relationships are to be honored, whether we understand or agree with them. In some ways, having been married myself for 20+ years now, I more respect relationships that are formed by commitment, not by legal means. Although legal protection is very important and desired by those who have been denied it, I can see the value in choosing to share your life with someone every day not just because you are legally bound to that person.
Your family looks happy and full. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I find it interesting that America claims to place such a high value on "family," yet often those who create families on their own terms are vilified for attempting to create a loving support network where one may not have existed before.
I read something last weekend in Glamour magazine (yes, serious journalism, I know) that came to mind. An adult woman suffered a falling-out with her biological family. After unsuccessful attempts to reconcile with them, she placed a personal ad in her local paper for a family to adopt her. She found one and has shared her life with them for approximately two to three years now (I don't remember the exact date). It seemed such an outlandish concept when I first started reading, but when finished, I concluded that perhaps it wasn't after all. I grieved for her that she was unable to reconcile with her birth family -- I know something of what that is like. However, I applaud her choice to fill that void in her life and find happiness, as I applaud you as well.
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